Me Time

The Myth of Selfishness –

For as long as I can remember I have had a Sense of Purpose, but it’s been one of those senses which has created more questions than it answered. The most pressing has always been, “What exactly is this purpose?”! I had a space within me which yearned to be filled.

I discovered meditation as an 11 year old child and found an extraordinary sense of peace, one that I had never felt before and one which I yearned to have as my default every day. However, when I tried to discuss it with my friends, they looked at me slightly more askance than usual and gently steered the conversation away to something they could understand; probably ponies.

I decided to fly solo as a seeker.

After several nudges as an adult I tentatively joined a healing circle and found that this innate ability of healing went a little way to filling that space which this Sense of Purpose had created within me. I also re-discovered that sense of peace.

A few years later I trained to work with animals using Tellington TTouch. I definitely had a TTouch space within my Sense of Purpose, but then egos welled up which I struggled with so I stepped back to protect myself.

Still, this Sense of Purpose persisted.

I left my husband. The Space grew but felt open and ready rather than vulnerable. Then it grew hungry. “What are you going to do about me?”, it would ask at inopportune moments – having a drink with friends or kissing my lover. “There is something special for you to do – it’s trying to get your attention but you ain’t listening!”

There are times when the Bleeding Obvious has to be pointed out to you. My love of writing was one such thing, as was my journey to a life I truly love and treasure. How many times were these shown to me? I have no idea. I wasn’t listening – I was tuned into something else, the golden cape of textiles, my “other” love.

It would appear, dear friends, that my Sense of Purpose was Bleeding Obvious for a long time and now I would like to share it with you.

I would like to take you on a journey to a Life You Love.

The first element I would like to share with you requires a shift in thinking that you may resist. I need you to be selfish. I would like you to start realising that actually, you ARE worth it (I knew I’d get a little L’Oreal moment in here somehow).

The Universe is designed for selfishness.

The only person who is responsible for your feelings is you. No-one can make you happy, nor can they make you angry or sad. You are the one who chooses how to respond – think about that one for a few minutes. You can choose your own feelings in response to anything. Wow! How selfish is that! How absolutely amazing that you can create your emotions any way you’d like them to be.

When I first learned of this I thought it was utter tosh! How can I possibly choose my emotions when someone is being such an arse? Well, actually, I learned how to do just that, and sometimes I need to be reminded!

On the flip side of this, you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness, or misery. This only imprisons you and disempowers them. You can only find your own path when other people’s emotions are factored out. Selfish? You bet.

This is the moment that you start to care more about how YOU feel than about what others think.

It is possible to be selfish without trampling over other people, the line is when you start sacrificing yourself for them. Please stay this side of the line. It’s your time now.

From this moment it’s “Me Time”!

3 thoughts on “Me Time

  1. Having spent a long time trying to make somebody close to me happy, and making myself very unhappy in the process, I have only recently put the focus back onto myself. I know how very true your statement, “No-one can make you happy, nor can they make you angry or sad. You are the one who chooses how to respond – think about that one for a few minutes. You can choose your own feelings in response to anything.” really is.
    Taking care of ourselves is the first step. It is not selfish, it is vital.
    By taking care of myself, I take better care of those around me. How can we be of use to others if we are not looking after ourselves? By reacting in a non-judgemental way and realising that every behaviour has behind it a “need”, we can make great leaps forward.
    I look forward to reading more.

  2. This sense of purpose that you’r talking about is like a shadow! It follows us everywhere. Sometimes we try to ignore it, sometimes we try to understand it, sometimes we wonder if it’s really true, or if we’re just being extravagant, or just trying a way to escape daily routine… It’s hard to pinpoint, unless it’s a very clear calling (for some people it is I guess, which might make thing a bit easier). Whatever it is, it always leaves this buzzing warm feeling, and sense of need of accomplishing something great. Perhaps the best way to tackle it it to keep track of the signs that it’s pointing at us, let it grow on us, little by little, do a bit at a time, instead of swallowing this big whole fish in one go! Good luck with your quest Rachael.xx

    1. I agree with you!

      It’s interesting how each person feels this Sense of Purpose differently – yours is a shadow, mine is a space top left on my chest. I wonder where others feel it?

      I used to feel that what I was being called to do was in the realms of ‘greatness’, but over the years I’m learning how working small and being fully mindful of what is under my hands in that moment is what makes the biggest difference. In the animal work I do, by eliciting change in one dog it has huge knock on effects – an aggressive dog becoming sociable means that the family stress levels reduce, which affects everyone they then come into contact with. This spreads out. so, yes, little by little.

      The whispers are there which guide us to ourselves. It’s taking the time to listen up for them which is the key and that is one of the reasons for doing “Me Time”.

      Rachael

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